There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize