3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
