It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Randomize
