I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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