How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
