There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
