I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
