My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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