so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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