Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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