There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
