I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
