So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Couch. On fire.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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