wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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