did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
