I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
