I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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