physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You can't just leave with hair like that
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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