i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
