p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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