1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
