I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
