Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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