is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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