Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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