I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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