Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize