So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
