come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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