put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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