I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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