It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
