Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize