Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My bed smells like the plague
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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