Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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