vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
