We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
