If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
