It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
