You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pants are for mortals
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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