Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
