someone get that fucking seahorse.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
