Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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