my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize