heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
