And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
