come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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