Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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