he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
