I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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