Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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