I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize