Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
