I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize