Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
