Cold hands, warm shart.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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