Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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