So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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