Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
